The Job Hunt: Staying the Course?

I’m nervous as I sit down to write.

I’m nervous because I don’t know where I’m going with this. And I certainly don’t know where it’s going to end.

Hopefully someplace good…

As many might know, I’ve been job hunting for quite some time now. It’s been hard. Really hard. Sometimes downright soul crushing.

My Professional High-Point

One of my favorite moments in my professional life was when I was working at the long-gone Yeshivat Rambam in Baltimore, Maryland. After my first year, they decided to end my contract and move on from having a Jaffe in their lives.

I was frustrated, but I hopped right up and applied for jobs at two other schools. I was given full-time offers at both places. And that’s when the magic happened. I was called into my boss’ office and watched a broken man re-offer me my job. The blowback for letting me go was tremendous, and he was forced to try to re-hire me.

And I was in heaven.

Not just because that moment was awesome (it was!), but because I now had to choose between three jobs. This is the best kind of problem a person could possibly have! I’ve since learned to look at that as the ideal. Too many choices. It’s hard… but the perfect kind of hard.

And it ultimately led to the high-points of my professional history.

The Job I Wanted

But these are different times. The job market is disastrous. Every job has hundreds of qualified applicants. And every employer knows they are 100% in control of the situation.

I left my previous job looking for a certain type of role. In an ideal world it would fit into several categories of things I was looking for. I wanted to progressively develop skills and experience in my field of choice. I wanted to work for a great company, one with mobility, opportunities, and a love of innovation, education, and out-of-the-box thinking. I wanted to wake up every day feeling like I was contributing to something special, not just spinning the wheels, working so a company could make cash but not make the world a better place.

And, of course, I wanted to make serious money. I wanted my bank account to grow each month. I wanted to live comfortably, to be able to buy a home, and to save a bit here and there.

From Five Goals to One

But things didn’t go terribly smoothly.

Each week I found jobs that looked interesting at companies I could see myself being a part of. I crafted lovely resumes and cover letters. Fine tuned my LinkedIn profile. Tried to make lots of connections.

And each week the frustrating generic rejection emails would trickle in, making the day simply gross and depressing.

And as time went by, I found myself crumbling. My unemployment benefits ran out. My bank account looked worse and worse. It’s so painful how two decades worth of hard work can nearly disappear in less than a year!

And then I started compromising. I had a list of about five things I wanted from a job. Even at the beginning I knew I was unlikely to get all five. But my standards were lowering, and a half-year into the game, I was willing to settle for just one of them. Any one would have made me happy. Or at least content.

Abandon Your Goals

But it still wasn’t happening. Everything was the same. And this left over the question: Should I start looking for a job that has absolutely none of the things I’m looking for?

I started asking around for different opinions and researching thoughts on this topic. Ultimately, there were basically two different approaches.

Approach number one: When things are tough, you take whatever you can get. Swallow your pride. Stop thinking about a bright, fulfilling future. All that matters is that cash is coming into your bank account.

According to this approach, I should ignore all my goals, at least for the time being. I shouldn’t seek a high salary or something that might advance my career. I should set aside my drive and degrees and certifications and experience and just apply wherever. I should pack groceries or pick up trash or work in a mattress shop or walk the neighbors’ poodles. So long as it pays for some of the rapidly piling up bills.

The more spiritually-minded among those with this philosophy don’t seek glory or fulfillment from their profession. They see work simply as a means to having more time for the things in life that truly matter, like family.

Or Stay the Course

But the other approach firmly rejects taking a crap job. It believes doing so only slows the process of getting somewhere great, which is bound to happen to those who push for it. If you’re helping customers at a shoe store, you’re not going to interviews at your ideal company. If you’re putting caps on toothpaste tubes, you’re not taking courses in preparation for your dream job.

In essence, they’re telling you to stay the course. Great things will only come if you don’t abandon your plan.

Now, this is a tough dilemma for me. I really resonate with both perspectives. Each one make complete sense to me.

On paper, the first approach rings more true. You can’t survive without an income. And I personally can’t survive without a daily schedule and goal. I need to be moving forward with life. I need to be accomplishing something at the end of every day.

And, of course, I need to put food on the table.

What Will Be Left?

But there’s another factor here. And I think it ultimately answers the question for me.

The last eight years have been rough on multiple levels. Don’t get me wrong. Great things have happened. I met and married an incredible woman. We created a lovely household for us, the children, and, of course, our beloved pooch.

Still, I’ve been woefully unfulfilled. I haven’t found my place here. I’m in the wrong neighborhood of the wrong city (of perhaps the wrong country). Finances have been tough. Social aspects have been tough. It’s been hard for me religiously and emotionally.

So what would happen if I took a job that fulfilled absolutely none of my criteria? I’m honestly terrified to find out. Would there be anything left of me? Or would I have once again made a sacrifice for the sake of my family that leaves me terribly uncomfortable on a day-to-day basis? Am I actually capable of just doing the motions at a cruddy job for the sole purpose of collecting a thoroughly mediocre paycheck?

Broke vs. Broken

I’m afraid I know the answer.

It will ruin me.

There will be nothing left.

So I’m left with only one choice: Stay the course, damn the consequences.

But how do I do it? I can’t be unemployed forever. And the bills never stop!

What’s worse? To be broke or to be broken?

I hope I never need to find out.