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October 7th was likely the worst day in Israel’s history. Yet there was this really interesting several weeks that followed. People were kinder to each other. More understanding.
They drove a little slower and were a bit nicer about letting people switch lanes. People weren’t cutting lines or yelling at each other. Maybe it was all in my head, but it felt like for the first time in my life I was experiencing everyone treating each other the way they are supposed to.
And then it all came to an end. It just fizzled out, and when life returned to relative normality, people became themselves again. With all the assorted bumps and bruises.
And it made me think. Thoughts I’ve had countless times. Things that I think are obvious, but apparently not so to so many people.
Everyone Can Be Successful
The 76-year experiment that is Israel, especially for those coming from foreign lands, only works if we look at everything as a team effort. We are all in this together. Through mutual understanding, shared experiences, and a bit of patience and humility, there’s room for everyone here to be successful.
Yet this is a small taste of things I’ve seen in recent weeks when people tried to ask reasonable questions on online forums:
Someone lambasted a recent immigrant senior citizen for asking questions about senior discounts on buses, because that person was a new immigrant and thus didn’t spend the last several decades contributing to Israel’s pool of taxes.
Another person mocked someone for questions about sirens during the Iran attack. When called out for their lack of kindness they (with maximum snark) retorted that it was their duty to mock questions they deem stupid. Some type of contribution to stopping the spread of panic and misinformation.
And repeatedly I’ve watched people mocking others’ “ignorance”, and claiming proudly they feel they can do so because of the amount of time they’ve been living in Israel. You don’t know something that I do? Well, moron, maybe you should have come here much sooner, mastered the language, learned to navigate the system, and then you could sit here in the front seat with me, tormenting those who don’t have our superior knowledge.
It irks me because it’s obnoxious and downright mean.
But it irks me more because it literally damages the Zionist cause.
How Will People Stay?
There are lots of reasons people come to Israel at different stages of life. Lots of reasons why people struggle with a foreign language. And plenty of folk who have trouble adjusting to a culture and system so drastically different from what we’re used to.
So what does one do when facing these and other difficulties? They call to the crowd and humbly ask for assistance navigating a world so foreign to them. In a universe where the system works correctly, that crowd then offers advice. They graciously share their gathered wisdom with whomever requires help. And people feel comforted knowing they can rely on the collective grace of their people to guide them through often treacherous waters.
When the system works correctly, we want to come. And we want to stay. Because we know the answer to all of our questions is a quick Facebook post away, and a nation that is looking out for itself sees people assimilating well as a value.
But what happens when people are humiliated for asking a question? What happens when every attempt to find out information is filled with mockery and dumb jokes? What happens when there is no place to turn to look for what you need if you don’t have thick enough skin to deal with the torment of an imbecile hiding on the other side of a computer?
The best case scenario is you just stop asking.
The Damage Done
The worst case scenario is far more daunting and dangerous.
It also involves no more asking, or asking, but every single time doing it with a feeling a dread, panicking that your every typo, uninformed thought, or simple lack of information is going to be welcomed with a flood of asinine, childish, and downright hurtful reactions.
But it’s worse than that. You’re going to start disliking your home. You’re going to start questioning why you’re here. You’re going to doubt whether or not you can properly survive the Israel immigration experience if you know that every time you have a question, you’re faced with two choices: Not asking, but risking making a terrible and costly error. Or asking, but knowing that doing so will likely result in enduring the obnoxious behavior of your supposed comrades in this endeavor.
A Shift in Process
There actually is one more option, although I often doubt whether or not it’s a viable one. We need a shift in consciousness. A new outlook. Groups need to make it a priority to police this kind of behavior, followed by warnings and offenders ultimately being cast out of groups if people refuse to comply.
In the group that is the single worst offender of this notion (Secret Jerusalem), I once had a post removed because it “wasn’t about Jerusalem”. I asked a question for entertainment purposes… and it was working! In an hour it had hundreds of people replying, and everyone was having a good time. It was a lovely break from the tension that has been the last four years, but it was harshly and swiftly dealt with.
Get your priorities straight! If you have enough manpower to shut down a harmless post like mine, you could and should also police the massive bullying in your group.
And a Shift in Attitude
But we need more than better and more enforced policies.
We need a proper shift in attitude.
We need to see this as a collective effort. A team. A group of people sharing a common goal.
If you believe in the Zionist dream, you believe the entire Jewish world should be getting off their cozy New Jersey couches and moving to Efrat or Beit Shemesh or Tel Aviv. But what if they considered doing so, or even did so, but they chose in the end not to move to Israel or to leave because things were just too damn hard? What if they sought help, but instead were met with condescension and verbal abuse?
Are you going to sit on your porch self-satisfied that you’ve been here a long time? Proud that you know stuff and others don’t? Are you going to mock those who aren’t willing to make the sacrifices you have?
Sadly, the answer is probably yes.
But you are a part of the problem. Way more than you realize.
And you are an impediment to the Zionist dream.
Shift your attitude.
It could change the world.
