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I don’t know what to say. I don’t think anyone does really.
And by the time I publish these words (if I publish these words), everything could be completely different.
But I need to write. There are so many thoughts and feelings swimming around in my mind, and I can’t fathom how I could process them if it weren’t for writing them down.
A Hostage Deal
I’m starting this post inches away from a massive deal to retrieve the hostages. A deal I think is extremely destructive to Israel. A deal I believe will end very poorly for a nation that has been in collective mourning for 15 months.
The ceasefire is complex, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around the nuances. But in its most simplistic form, we’re getting several hostages back home in stages, in exchange for an organized pullout of Gaza, thousands of terrorists released from prison, humanitarian aid, more mobility in Gaza, and efforts toward making deals for longer-term “peace” with our foes to the south.
If that deal sounds very lopsided to you, well, join the club.
A Giant Mix of Emotions
Please note: The entire country is ecstatic to see hostages come home. It’s been way too long. Their lives have been turned upside down, and they deserve to be with their families and communities once again.
There is no contradiction here.
This deal is bad. This deal is dangerous. This deal might go down in history as the worst mistake of Israel’s existence.
But that shouldn’t make anyone in Israel–or any decent people across the world–rejoice any less when the hostages come home. They shouldn’t for a second be made to feel bad for being released. It’s very possible many of them if they were on this side of the fence would agree. And I can’t fathom what they’ve been through. If October 7th had been a widespread attack on Jerusalem, members of my family or I could be in their situation right now, stuffed in some cave in East Jerusalem, tortured, wondering if we’d ever see our loved ones again. These innocent souls should never be faulted for being victims of barbarism and violence.
It Feels Like We’re Losing
But it doesn’t change the facts on the table. There have been a handful of times over this year where it felt like we were losing this war. But there was always room for a turnaround. There was always room to crush the enemy and emerge victorious.
But now it doesn’t feel like we’re losing.
It feels like we lost.
It feels like we’re giving up. We’ve neither gathered enough intelligence to miraculously free the hostages, nor have we devastated Hamas enough that they’re begging us to take the hostages back so we stop the bombardment. The only things that will bring these innocent souls back home is negotiations that are likely detrimental to the entire nation. And negotiations that don’t look all that different than ones we were engaged in many, many months ago. Could we have actually brought them home much sooner? Could we have prevented the deaths of hundreds of soldiers? Could we have returned to relative normality much, much sooner? Could we have halted the non-stop barrage of incriminating statements about how Israel is conducting the war?
We might never know the answer to these or any number of really scary, pressing questions. But once again, it feels like we’re accepting the terms of this ceasefire not from a place of strength. Not from a place of having weakened the resolve of our enemies.
It feels like capitulation. It feels like the government is sending this message to the Israeli people: We bit off more than we can chew. We can’t keep the promises we have been feeding you incessantly for over a year.
If we ever want these hostages to come home, and for Israel to return to some semblance of normality, this is our only choice left.
Not What We Were Promised
And trust me, I don’t want to feel this way.
I want to feel happy for the families of the hostages, and for the emotions to end there.
And I want to think we’ve arrived at a special place. We forced Hamas into a deal they couldn’t refuse. I want Hamas to feel like they need to roll out a red carpet, beg each and every hostage for their forgiveness, and apologetically stand before the Israeli people and hand over our people. Why? Because doing so would mean their end. We shattered any hope on their part that they could ever defeat us. And now they’re cowering in fear, willing to do whatever it takes to get us to stop fighting.
That’s the deal we want. That’s the deal we were promised. And that’s the deal we deserve.
But instead we got a deal we theoretically could have gotten ten months ago. Before hundreds of more soldiers were killed and people spent more time apart from their families. A deal that could have meant months and months of less trauma to each of these hostages.
And yes, the deal then would have been lopsided as well. But at least at the time it would have made a little bit of sense. It would have saved a large amount of additional suffering to our people. And perhaps some hostages who are no longer with us might still be alive.
No, this deal is an embarrassment.
The Cycle Begins Again
I know everyone’s hoping for a miracle. Everyone’s hoping Netanyahu or even Trump have one more trick up their sleeves.
But history would say otherwise.
History would say the only thing that was not predictable was that the process took as long as it did.
History tells us the next step is a period of relative calm. No, peace will not emerge between Israel and the Palestinians. Just a fog that will fall over the Israeli people. The fog will result in returning to our lives as if nothing awful just transpired. Complacency will settle in once again. We will go back to worrying about judicial reform, bad driving, and inflation.
And some time not long from now the next terrible incident will occur. People will die. Likely some at the hands of monsters we just let free.
And the pattern will begin once again. Rinse, repeat, until the end of time.
Or until we finally figure out a better path.
