We Are Living in a Giant Mask Joke

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Over a year ago, I made a conscious choice. Corona was done. Yeah, the world had not yet created a vaccine. But it didn’t matter. The notion of being controlled indefinitely by an illness had become absurd. I was no longer afraid. It was time to take my life back.

Things improved for me drastically after a simple mental switch. I was able to relax. I was able to be a little more normal. And slowly but surely the smile was returning to my face.

And then a vaccine hit the world.

Time Will Tell


I don’t know if they made the world a better place. I don’t know if more widespread vaccinations would have gotten us to a healthier world quicker. Time will tell. We will look back on this era and let’s just say, there will be a lot of folk in the world slapping themselves on the forehead for things they said and did. I don’t know who or for what. But it’s inevitable. Someone’s wrong about how they’re handling things, likely extremely overconfident in their approach, and probably more than a little insulting to those who have a different perspective.

And that rarely ends well.

But I’m not talking about vaccines. I’m talking today about masks.

Put On Your Damn Mask


The other night I went to a show, the first I’ve been to in a couple of years. I like to support the local community theater, and these folk work their asses off to entertain us all. And I sat down with a smile on my face. And before I could even enjoy a moment of my time, someone behind me told me to put on a mask.

I looked around. Maybe 60% of the people there were wearing masks. Of that 60%, half of them were beneath their noses. And among the mask-wearers, most came off throughout the evening for various reasons, like having a snack.

I was annoyed at her request, but I put the thing on. Some other person watching the whole thing then told me to make sure it’s covering my nose. And I sat there, pissed that this was how I was greeted into a return to semi-normality.

And pondering why it bothered me so much.

Is It Your Job?


My first thought was it wasn’t how or what they requested. It was who was requesting.

At this point, I’m kind of just going through the motions of life. I’ve walked into a store, and if they tell me to put a mask on, the mask goes on. I’m not making a statement by not wearing it. I’m just being. End of story.

But I’m not a jerk. The clerks are just doing their jobs, and I have no interest in making their life more challenging.

But for the first time in as long as I could remember, it wasn’t a clerk politely asking me to don my face cloth. It was random people. And you can see in their faces how much better than me they thought they were.

And this bugs me on multiple levels.

Is it really about health?


First of all, they couldn’t care less about me. Or facts. Or health. They don’t know that I went two years without getting so much as a Corona sniffle. They don’t care that I take care of myself, eating right, exercising, and loading my system up with critical vitamins to keep my immune system strong. Nor do they care that I recovered from Covid just a month ago, and was trying to enjoy the natural immunity that afforded me.

Nope. It’s just a couple of mask police officers, indiscriminately exercising the power of their self-appointed roles. Feeling good about themselves because a generation arose where someone told them they are allowed to bother other people, and feel the warmth of their self-righteous might flowing through their veins.

But seriously, are you going to tell me you’re doing this for safety reasons? Because that is laughable at best.

Are they actually safe?


The evidence that a mask is going to protect you from Covid is scanty, at best. And I could pretty much guarantee you this tiny piece of cloth bunched in my pocket isn’t going to make a big difference in anyone’s lives.

No, the masks are borderline useless, half the theater isn’t wearing one in the first place, and those who are aren’t wearing ones that work or aren’t wearing them correctly. And still none of this matters. Do you know how I know you don’t truly care and you’re not “following the science”? Because you, just like me and a few hundred other people, were there that night. Fact is, there is still only one way to guarantee you won’t get Corona. Stay at home.

Now, I don’t personally think you should do that. Time will tell whether or not the damage done by Corona regulations was worse than the illness itself. It certainly was for me. I think you should go to theater. And sporting events. And the movies. And restaurants. And hang out with your friends. But you should know and understand the risks. If you’re sitting in a crowded theater for three hours and someone in the theater has Corona, there’s a very likely chance you’re going to get it as well. And that’s regardless of whether you and the sick individual are both wearing masks.

Going out and having a good time is a really important part of life. But it is not a method of preventing yourself from getting sick.

Leave Each Other Alone

So what am I saying here? Let’s make this simple. Leave me the hell alone.

If you’re under no obligation to tell me what to do, please don’t. Mind your own business and let me live my life. And I promise you I won’t give you a lecture about how silly it is that you’re sitting in a crowded theater eating Cheetos with a mask on your chin. We can co-exist. We don’t need to interfere with each other’s lives. It all begins with recognizing that we’re all adults and the time is long past for us to start figuring out how to live our lives despite the fact that yet another illness lives alongside of us as well.

I’m willing to not bother you when you remove your unnecessary mask outside to down a Coke and smoke a cigarette. Why can’t you let me finally enjoy an evening out also?

I won't give you a lecture about how silly it is that you're sitting in a crowded theater eating Cheetos with a mask on your chin. Click To Tweet

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