I’ve had a dream for quite some time. If I ever found myself ready to get married again, I wanted a highlight reel kind of proposal. I wanted to do something special and outlandish. Something people would talk about for months and months to come, and that my bride of choice would never forget.
Crazy Proposal Ideas
Of course, I had some crazy ideas. There are classic thriller types involving skydiving or bungee jumping. And at one point along the way I pondered whether or not we could take a trip to Vienna to visit a butterfly enclosure, and if there were some way to get the butterflies to spell out “Marry me”. Still love that idea. Feel free to steal it!
But once I had the notion of proposing to Devorah at the end of her play, I couldn’t shake the idea. I loved it. And I knew she would too.
Lot of Love in My Heart
So, in a sense, there were a combination of many elements that dictated when I would propose. I’ve had a lot of love in my heart for quite some time. In the past four years it’s manifested itself in all sorts of ways. But no matter how many times I told myself that I didn’t want to get married again, the moment I found someone I cared about this deeply, it’s all I wanted in this world. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I don’t believe in proposing too quickly. I think it’s vitally important to truly know the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with. But how quick is too quick? In Western culture, less than a year may be considered too quick. In Jerusalem, it’s borderline unheard of.
But I knew what I wanted. And I knew how I wanted it. So my question was answered by circumstance.
The Outlandish Proposal
And that’s how I found myself searching clandestinely for the director’s email address, in order to begin arranging a giant, outlandish public proposal. I would go down on my knee and pop the question shortly after the actors took their bows at the end of one of Devorah’s shows. Not only was she the lead actress, but she hysterically rejects someone’s proposal in the last five minutes of the play. All the stars were aligning!
I wanted everything perfect. New outfit, clean shaven, every detail worked out in advance. And I did everything I could to preserve the surprise. As far as I knew, she wasn’t even expecting me to stop by at the end of the performance. After all, I was attending as a guest the very next day. Certainly Devorah knew a proposal was in the air, but I was well aware she wanted to choose her own engagement ring. I made it abundantly clear that the trip to the jewelry store would be later on.
Proposal without a Ring?
But how do you propose without a ring? Alas, we were in a jewelry store several weeks earlier. Devorah fell in love with a necklace there and I managed to snag a photograph. The necklace would be the perfect “placeholder” before we could buy the ring.
The day before my planned proposal, we went on a date. From start to finish I felt this intense discomfort. Generally our conversations flow like water and could go on for hours without either of us even noticing. But here I was with an inherent flaw. I couldn’t talk about the item I was thinking about the most. I had to ignore the objectively biggest thing happening in my life at that moment. It felt awful. For certain I was holding back with extremely positive intentions, but it felt dishonest and uncomfortable nevertheless. And I squirmed under the pressure.
But that day ended, and we were back on track. My following day was a day like any other… with a hyper focus on the upcoming proposal, and deflecting anything that might hint something was up.
She Said Yes (*Spoiler*)
And boy I boy was I nervous. These nerves were not at all characteristic. But I was shaking like a leaf, and pacing around my home endlessly.
And when the big moment finally came around, I walked on stage from behind, I fell to my knee, and I asked Devorah to make me the happiest person alive.
And she said yes.
The raw emotion of the moment was unforgettable.
Now, facts are facts. Devorah had guessed almost every detail of the proposal. She not only figured out how I was proposing, but she knew at which performance. She even knew I would be giving her that specific necklace. Think I’m exaggerating? She brought matching earrings to put on in case she was correct!
Did her ability to figure me out so easily detract at all from the moment? Not in the slightest. If anything, it just reflects how connected we truly are. I did whatever I could to conceal my plans, and that was my biggest undoing. Devorah asked me to come by at the end of the show to meet one of her mentors, and I said I wasn’t sure I would be able to. I thought I was safe… but I gave her all the evidence she needed to figure out what was happening.
She knows me. I love that she knows me. And even though I’ll try to surprise her for the rest of my life, I’ll be content knowing that she knows me well enough to make it challenging. And she loves me nonetheless.Even though I'll try to surprise her for the rest of my life, I'll be content knowing that she knows me well enough to make it challenging. And she loves me nonetheless. Click To Tweet
Just the Beginning
So, I’ve brought you from the beginning to the end of our dating saga. From complete unawareness to realizing I’m dating my soulmate. From hysterically failed attempts to be together, to dropping to my knee with complete clarity.
But our story is hardly over. In fact, it is just beginning. We have a lifetime to get to know one another. We have a lifetime to grow, and have adventures, and pour our hearts out to each other.
Here’s to the future.