Permission to be Happy

I Was Miserable

Approximately two years ago, I was miserable. Not happy at all. Of course, we all go through bad days or periods. We all suffer, and the suffering I’ve been through is hardly the worst that exists.

But what made my suffering so potent was how inescapable it felt. I had resolved in my mind that this was just the way it was going to be. The way I felt then was the way I would always feel. Some days would be worse, but there was a baseline misery I would never exceed.

Sure, I could fool almost anyone some of the time. If I wanted to appear joyous, my top-notch acting skills kicked into gear. But I could never fool myself. I knew how I truly felt. I knew what my heart was experiencing. And I grew to believe that this was just the way it was and would always be.

I stopped believing that I deserved to be happy.

And one day…

And one day something clicked. One day I wanted more. I realized that everyone, including me, had the God-given right to be happy.

But some things had to change, and they had to change immediately or who knew if I’d ever again gain the motivation to do what was necessary. And a long process began, one replete with ups and downs, and one that is by no means over.

The way I look at it now is so simple, at least on paper: Happiness is a choice. We control our own emotional wellbeing, and no external source makes the decision for us. ()

There are many who have suffered unimaginably, but chose to remain happy nevertheless (read all about Viktor Frankl, someone who kept his wits about himself during the Holocaust!). However, not all of us are that powerful. Not all of us can find it within ourselves to fight back against the impediments in our lives standing in the way of true joy.

But we do all have the choice to remove those impediments, so that we are freer to choose to be happy.

I Chose to be Happy

And so my process began. I removed the impediments I could not overcome, and I started the process of moving toward a life of happiness, constant and overwhelming joy.

I’m not there yet. It’s a long journey. But I’m so grateful I finally gave myself permission to head down that road.

We should be blessed to understand that we all deserve to be happy, to have the will to strive to be happy, and to have the strength to remove any roadblocks that stand in our way.

***

Just a little bit of an update: I wrote this post three years ago. I was in the beginning stages of learning to be happy, allowing myself to be happy.

What’s happened since then? I’ve gotten married. Got a dog. Went skydiving. Twice. Wrote four books. Exercised a whole lot. Made some incredible friends for life.

Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve accomplished, all began with my decision to be happy. Before that, it wasn’t worth trying. Nothing I could do made me feel any level of happiness. Hell, they hardly made me feel anything at all.

Choose happiness. Give yourself permission. Everyone wants to be happy and deserves to be happy. It all begins with that choice. It all begin with declaring that nothing in this world will ever stand in the way of your becoming a happy person.

Once that happens, the skies are the limit. And happiness will be hiding right around the corner!