Devorah, the Step-Mom
Last week I spoke about step-parents, the unsung heroes with just about the most difficult job imaginable. But this week I would like to talk about a very specific step-mom: My beautiful Devorah, who stepped into her role with purpose, and continues to be amazing at it every single day.
I want to explore five reasons why Devorah is one of the best additions to the lives of my children, five reasons she has tackled her new role far better than anyone could have expected. Devorah, you may have all the fears I expressed last week. And you may question how great you are at what you do.
But you shouldn’t.
My kids should be falling at your feet, beyond grateful to who you are to them. Here’s why:
1) Devorah is the Step-Mom Queen of Kindness
Devorah’s kind and caring nature is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. It doesn’t matter if you’re my children, our children, or just a child in need, she is there, ready and willing to do whatever is needed to ease whatever it is that is ailing you.
Do you have a cough? A headache? Your stomach is bugging you? It’s a good thing it happened when you were around Devorah, who will now drop everything and make it her mission to find a way to ease any and all suffering. I’ve seen her do it countless times, not just for my kiddos, but for me as well!
Devorah looks at people and tries to figure out what it is they need at any given moment. Sometimes it’s a snack. Other times it’s attention. Of course, sometimes it’s a huge hug. And still, other times someone needs the entire focus to be on them. And that is her specialty! I’ve watched her calm a tantrum just by bringing a daughter into our bedroom (which is usually off-limits) and letting her put on earrings. They feel special, they feel loved, and sanity is restored to our home.
Just a couple of short years ago, a whole lot of kindness entered into the lives of my children. They are so much better off for it. We all are!
2) Devorah is the Step-Mom Duchess of Dining
There is a typical “mom” quality. Some spark that exists in the souls of all good and caring mothers. They yearn to feed the hungry. They are uncomfortable with the notion of little people running around without full bellies.
And some take that trait to the next level. Someone like Devorah can’t stand a hungry child. And she wants to make sure that not only are they well-fed, but the food they eat is beyond delicious, and loaded with nutrition as well.
I fed my kids well prior to remarriage. But this is next level. Their lives have gotten the upgrade of the century.
3) Devorah Listens… Actually Listens
I have never met someone more attentive than Devorah. When my children have a question or a problem, or just need to have lots of words come out of their mouths, there are people in this world willing to listen. They will hear things, respond with pleasantries, and maybe toss in a couple of words here and there.
But not Devorah. She is attentive and caring. She is sensitive and sympathetic. The words aren’t mindless jibber-jabber to her. She really wants to hear what they are saying and determine why they are saying it. And the words of the sad or lonely or hurt or confused never fall upon deaf ears. They never reach someone who isn’t fully and completely interested in understanding the one who is suffering.
4) Devorah is the Step-Mom Countess of Creativity
When Devorah helps, or wants to do something nice for another, she pulls deep from within years upon years of creativity to go way above and beyond what might be expected of just about anyone. My son wanted to take up juggling, next thing any of us knew, she’s grabbing some old denim and millet and creating him flawless, professional juggling balls (something like these).
Each one of us has a homemade mask. Every time my children come over, their enchanting step-mom has expended massive mental energy ensuring that something is different, something is better than it was the day before.
The gifts she gives are amazing. The thought, care, and consideration into everything she does is unmatched. Devorah is loaded with talents. And when she is a part of your life, those talents become a part of your life as well. She is the most creative step-mom alive, and I truly hope my kids catch the creative “bug” from her. There is so much to learn, so much to gain!
5) Devorah is the Step-Mom Princess of Patience
As a parent, I find myself constantly struggling between thoughtful responses versus reactiveness. A thoughtful response occurs when you can collect yourself, calm down, think through a response, and apply the best possible solution you can conceive to the situation.
Reactiveness is when you just do the first thing that comes to mind, usually because your emotion is wrapped up in the moment. One child hits another. There’s blood, there’s screaming, there’s crying. Your heart is welling up with tension and anger, and before you know it, you’re participating in all of the yelling as well. You’re doing nothing with long-term benefits for the situation, just getting worked up and falling deep into the intensity of what’s going on in front of you.
But Devorah is rarely reactive. She rarely does anything in life without care and attentiveness. And that’s a quality all children can benefit from. And hopefully emulate!
Not to mention, she’s in this for the long game. She certainly knows that what we say and do with the children will be a part of who they are for quite some time to come. That’s a responsibility not to be taken lightly, and one she cares about all the time.
Devorah stepped into my life a couple of years ago. Slowly she trickled into the lives of my children as well. And now I don’t think they can remember a world without her. And I’m beyond grateful for that fact. Their world is so much better off with a Devorah in it!
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