Month: February 2019

Make Me Rich in 2019!

Passive Income

2019 is going to be my year. This is the one in which I achieve complete financial independence. And this is the year where I finally get to a stage where I wake up in the morning no longer frightened to pay my bills.

I want to get there without pain. And I want to get there with a giant smile on my face.

Passive Income

I’ve spent a large chunk of the past couple of years studying the concept of passive income. This is something a select few have mastered effortlessly. Something others among us are clueless about. And then there are those like me. I wish to explore every facet of the concept and hopefully figure out a way to finally grab my piece of the pie.

So what is passive income?

Passive income is things you do where the initial effort and continual and occasional maintenance results in money that could be earned at any moment. Forever. Essentially, it’s money you can earn while you are sleeping. A classic example in our generation might be a high-quality and engaging YouTube video. In your video description you placed affiliate links. That night you went to sleep like any other, but unbeknownst to you, the video exploded. Someone loved it, posted it online, and sent it to friends, and over the course of the night, the video was seen by over 20,000 people.

Of those thousands of people, hundreds clicked on the affiliate links and purchased products, and you woke up to find that you had an extra few thousand dollars in your bank account.

Passive income at its finest.

Yes, you worked hard to create an incredible video. And you made some initial efforts to get it out to the world. But inertia and good, old fashioned luck took over at that point.

The Success X-Factor: Luck

Certainly hard work and perseverance play an extremely significant role in many if not all success stories. But they’re often not even close to enough. Luck is really the secret ingredient to all success, so it would seem. I love to reminisce about Friendster and the Gong Show. It’s fun to watch the blank stares on the faces of anyone under the age of 30 when I mention either of these two things.

What are they? Friendster was Facebook before Facebook was Facebook. It was about a decade two early. No one used it. No one now seems to remember it. And some poor guy is eating a hot dog at a 7-11 right now wondering why he is not a billionaire. The Gong Show is the same story. It was American Idol decades too soon.

Yet Facebook and American Idol were able to revolutionize social media and reality television, respectively. Not exclusively because their product was excellent, but because their timing was superb.

Luck made all the difference.

Accidental Fortune?

However, accidental fortune doesn’t come to those who don’t buy the lottery ticket (the one exception). Facebook and American Idol don’t take off and make people millions of dollars without someone creating Facebook and American Idol. Hard work, perseverance, and a healthy handful of being in the right place at the right time team up to change someone’s life forever.

But…

Let’s say that luck can somehow be manipulated. Let’s say luck isn’t exactly always the accident we pretend it is. Maybe, just maybe, we all have the power, at least on occasion, to gear our “accidental fortunes” in the direction we want.

And that’s where all of YOU come in.

My Tacky Passive Income Request

How can you help make me wealthy in 2019?

Visit my blog. Share my posts with others. Comment on things. Click on the weird ads Google puts all over my pages. Buy the crap they’re trying to sell you. Be a guest blogger! (Seriously, contact me if interested.)

I’m sure there’s something on here you like. Hell, you’re reading this right now. No one’s twisting your arm. Let the world know you’ve found something you enjoy reading.

Buy my books. Review my books. Tell others to buy my books. I’m sure you know a teacher. Or someone dating, married, divorced, or contemplating divorce. Everyone could use a few friendly and comical tips and tricks. Someone learns something new… and I become filthy stinkin’ rich. Everyone’s a winner!

Upcoming Projects

Upcoming projects for this and the following years: More blog posts. More books. My hope is to write two more non-fiction ones, followed by the big goal of tackling writing a novel. A huge bucket list item for me.

Besides learning a lot more about investing, I also want to explore the world of passive income through YouTube and online courses. There is a bright and exciting future out there for me. I can feel it… sort of.

While you’re at it, my beautiful son has spent too much time with me and has caught the passive income bug. Check out his pictures. Buy them and share them with others. Heck, maybe one of these days he’ll pay part of the rent…

My Passive Income Long Game

So here I stand. The amount I’ve made so far from my passive income attempts is hardly impressive. I still can’t afford that brand new Lamborghini I’m hoping for. But passive income is for those with patience. It’s for those willing to play the long game. One day a post or a book or a video or a course of mine might go viral, and make a ton of cash. It could cause sales of my books to skyrocket, and who knows what else. And once the flow hits, it could be an endless outpouring. Every day I’ll wake up with a bit more money in the bank. All for work I did long ago.

Let’s hope. Let’s keep pushing. Maybe I will get that Lamborghini some day…

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

Posted by jaffeworld, 2 comments

New Book Announcement: You’re Doing Everything Wrong

You're Doing Everything Wrong

I’m extremely excited to announce the publication of my second eBook, You’re Doing Everything Wrong. If you haven’t snatched up a copy of my first book, Teach Like a Ninja, please grab a copy at your nearest convenience (and don’t forget to write an Amazon review).

My new book, You’re Doing Everything Wrong, is a compilation of lessons I learned in the past several decades about dating, marriage, and divorce. The book has three sections with ten chapters dedicated to each of these important topics. It’s jam-packed with advice, stories, and just enough humor to make light of extremely complex and difficult topics. The basic premise: Learn from my mistakes rather than make them yourselves.

Here I’ll share some quotes from You’re Doing Everything Wrong with a bit of commentary. A little feel… before you pick up your own copy:

You’re Doing Everything Wrong: Dating

“Long-term dating and marriage are not solutions to loneliness… feeling lonely when you are married is infinitely more challenging than feeling lonely when single.” (Chapter 4)

It’s very easy to assume that when you’re single and lonely there is a magic panacea waiting for you out there. Just get married, and everything will be OK. No more loneliness. Your dreams have finally been achieved.

But this is so very wrong an approach.

Getting involved in a less-than-great marriage is a recipe for far worse pain than any loneliness you felt when single. Best to avoid learning this the hard way.

You’re Doing Everything Wrong: Marriage

“A marriage is only as good as the member of the unit who is putting in the least amount of effort.” (Chapter 13)

Never assume that any amount of effort you put into your relationship can save things if your partner is not willing to do the same. A relationship is a team effort. And the team member who shirks his duty, brings everything downward. They’re the team leader. And everything goes according to the inactive or less active partner. A good spouse and a bad spouse equals a bad marriage. Always.

“Never enter a marriage thinking you can change the other person, nor relying on the notion that they will naturally change as time goes by.” (Chapter 13)

Either assumption will leave you wide open for a very uncomfortable rude awakening. Assume that what you see is what you get. They might change, but don’t rely on it. Love the person you marry, not an idea of what you think they should be.

Wholeness and Floor Mats

“A marriage is ideally a union of two whole individuals coming together to create something far greater than the two of them separately.” (Chapter 14)

A marriage isn’t two halves creating a whole. That’s childish nonsense. A half person isn’t fit to be married. Only a person who knows himself and is happy with himself is ready to bring someone else into his life.

“You cannot be turned into a floor mat unless you let yourself be a floor mat.” (Chapter 16)

In any relationship in which someone is dominated by another, there exists fault in the one who is dominated. It is true that it is wrong and inappropriate to behave dominantly over another human being (who does not want it); however, it can only happen if the one being dominated allows it to happen.

Stand up for yourself, since you and your thoughts and opinions matter also. If you back down constantly, always trying to please the other, the end result will be your perpetual unhappiness. And that’s why this books exists! You deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy! Sometimes we just need some extra tools to help us get there.

Everyone Matters

“Everyone needs to feel like they’re important, their opinions matter, and they are a central piece of the household.” (Chapter 16)

If someone in a marriage feels secondary or neglected, the unit is broken. If someone “wins” an argument, ultimately no one does. One member gets a temporary feeling of control and victory, while one silently suffers in the background.

This feeling doesn’t go away. It just accumulates and ferments in its own juices, and over time it will destroy the unit. There’s a limit to how long anyone can let themselves be ignored before they break inside. When that happens, the marriage is essentially done. And both parties lose.

The only option is win-win solutions. All the time. Anything less is unacceptable.

You’re Doing Everything Wrong: Divorce

“All the greatness that’s yet to come in your life is built upon the shoulders of all the suffering that preceded it.” (Chapter 23)

How did you get to where you are now? And what lessons did you pick up along the way? Everything you’ve done up until this point, every shred of pain you have endured, exists for a reason. You may not know the reason yet. And you may not appreciate the benefit of what you have experienced. But it all needed to be there.

You are the person you are because of everything that happened before today. So don’t mourn over the past. Rather, embrace it, build upon it, and make your life what you want it to be.

“Deep within all of us is a kickass parent… And you finally have the opportunity to [be this] without the weight of a bad marriage holding you back.” (Chapter 27)

Co-parenting is really challenging. It’s rare that two people agree 100% on how to raise a child. And it’s even rarer that someone who is upset or depressed can parent to the best of their abilities.

Divorce provides a unique opportunity for many. You get the chance to be with your children entirely on your own terms. If you’re using this period in your life well, you should be able to escape the pain you felt earlier and be free to be the parent you want to be.

And every parent has the ability to be amazing, given the right circumstances. Embrace the kickass parent within you!

In Conclusion…

My past 20+ years have been very interesting and eventful. I made many mistakes along the way. But I’ve learned from all of them. You’re Doing Everything Wrong is a compilation of lessons I learned along the way. I learned them the hard way. Pick up my book and learn them the easiest way possible!

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my books!

Posted by jaffeworld in divorce, Health, opinion, parenting, 1 comment

The Devorah-Yitzchak Story: Part 5-The Proposal

Proposal

I’ve had a dream for quite some time. If I ever found myself ready to get married again, I wanted a highlight reel kind of proposal. I wanted to do something special and outlandish. Something people would talk about for months and months to come, and that my bride of choice would never forget.

Crazy Proposal Ideas

Of course, I had some crazy ideas. There are classic thriller types involving skydiving or bungee jumping. And at one point along the way I pondered whether or not we could take a trip to Vienna to visit a butterfly enclosure, and if there were some way to get the butterflies to spell out “Marry me”. Still love that idea. Feel free to steal it!

But once I had the notion of proposing to Devorah at the end of her play, I couldn’t shake the idea. I loved it. And I knew she would too.

Lot of Love in My Heart

So, in a sense, there were a combination of many elements that dictated when I would propose. I’ve had a lot of love in my heart for quite some time. In the past four years it’s manifested itself in all sorts of ways. But no matter how many times I told myself that I didn’t want to get married again, the moment I found someone I cared about this deeply, it’s all I wanted in this world. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I don’t believe in proposing too quickly. I think it’s vitally important to truly know the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with. But how quick is too quick? In Western culture, less than a year may be considered too quick. In Jerusalem, it’s borderline unheard of.

But I knew what I wanted. And I knew how I wanted it. So my question was answered by circumstance.

The Outlandish Proposal

And that’s how I found myself searching clandestinely for the director’s email address, in order to begin arranging a giant, outlandish public proposal. I would go down on my knee and pop the question shortly after the actors took their bows at the end of one of Devorah’s shows. Not only was she the lead actress, but she hysterically rejects someone’s proposal in the last five minutes of the play. All the stars were aligning!

I wanted everything perfect. New outfit, clean shaven, every detail worked out in advance. And I did everything I could to preserve the surprise. As far as I knew, she wasn’t even expecting me to stop by at the end of the performance. After all, I was attending as a guest the very next day. Certainly Devorah knew a proposal was in the air, but I was well aware she wanted to choose her own engagement ring. I made it abundantly clear that the trip to the jewelry store would be later on.

Proposal without a Ring?

But how do you propose without a ring? Alas, we were in a jewelry store several weeks earlier. Devorah fell in love with a necklace there and I managed to snag a photograph. The necklace would be the perfect “placeholder” before we could buy the ring.

The day before my planned proposal, we went on a date. From start to finish I felt this intense discomfort. Generally our conversations flow like water and could go on for hours without either of us even noticing. But here I was with an inherent flaw. I couldn’t talk about the item I was thinking about the most. I had to ignore the objectively biggest thing happening in my life at that moment. It felt awful. For certain I was holding back with extremely positive intentions, but it felt dishonest and uncomfortable nevertheless. And I squirmed under the pressure.

But that day ended, and we were back on track. My following day was a day like any other… with a hyper focus on the upcoming proposal, and deflecting anything that might hint something was up.

She Said Yes (*Spoiler*)

And boy I boy was I nervous. These nerves were not at all characteristic. But I was shaking like a leaf, and pacing around my home endlessly.

And when the big moment finally came around, I walked on stage from behind, I fell to my knee, and I asked Devorah to make me the happiest person alive.

And she said yes.

The raw emotion of the moment was unforgettable.

Surprise Proposal?

Now, facts are facts. Devorah had guessed almost every detail of the proposal. She not only figured out how I was proposing, but she knew at which performance. She even knew I would be giving her that specific necklace. Think I’m exaggerating? She brought matching earrings to put on in case she was correct!

Did her ability to figure me out so easily detract at all from the moment? Not in the slightest. If anything, it just reflects how connected we truly are. I did whatever I could to conceal my plans, and that was my biggest undoing. Devorah asked me to come by at the end of the show to meet one of her mentors, and I said I wasn’t sure I would be able to. I thought I was safe… but I gave her all the evidence she needed to figure out what was happening.

She knows me. I love that she knows me. And even though I’ll try to surprise her for the rest of my life, I’ll be content knowing that she knows me well enough to make it challenging. And she loves me nonetheless.

Just the Beginning

So, I’ve brought you from the beginning to the end of our dating saga. From complete unawareness to realizing I’m dating my soulmate. From hysterically failed attempts to be together, to dropping to my knee with complete clarity.

But our story is hardly over. In fact, it is just beginning. We have a lifetime to get to know one another. We have a lifetime to grow, and have adventures, and pour our hearts out to each other.

Here’s to the future.

Posted by jaffeworld in personal story, 1 comment

The Devorah-Yitzchak Story: Part 4–The Mighty 253

Devorah

And there we were. Somehow in a relationship.

Against all odds.

I didn’t want to date. I made that abundantly (and now embarrassingly) clear. But I was extremely happy.

The real question at this point would be:

What happens now?

Break on Through to the Other Side

We broke through that odd first chunk of time where we liked one another, but didn’t know what the other one was thinking or feeling. Clearly what was “just a date” would develop into a full-fledged relationship, and very quickly.

Obviously we each had our own world of feelings and emotions we needed to work through. I cannot speak on behalf of Devorah, and it is not my place to tell anyone’s thoughts or feelings but my own.

But I certainly had a complicated road ahead of me.

On one hand, I really liked this wonderful new woman in my life. She made me laugh and smile. She was thoughtful, kind, sweet, and caring. Honestly, more than I could ever hope for.

But I was sailing down a river with massive amounts of baggage weighing down my sailboat. And I couldn’t for a moment presume to know how to deal with the craziness that was about to come.

How it was “Supposed” to Go

I declared quite a few times that if I were to ever get married again, it would go like this:

We would start off as friends. We would spend a great deal of time together, hanging out, having lots of fun, enjoying each other’s company and discourse. And at some point, quite a while later, we would look at each other and realize that we couldn’t imagine living apart from one another.

There is a phrase in Hebrew that roughly translates to “beloved friends”, and this strikes me as the ideal concept of a relationship. We are absolutely through and through the best friends imaginable.

We also happen to have fallen madly in love with one another.

But this ultimately was not my destiny. Thank goodness I’m open enough to welcome surprises into my life!

The Proposal

A matter of months after our first date I found myself on one knee asking this amazing angel of a person to be my wife.

Some people have asked me along the way, “Why so soon? Didn’t you think it would be a good idea to wait longer?”

Wait longer? Wait longer!? I had to fight against the urge to propose way earlier than I actually did!

Sometimes in life there are things that are just so clear. No, there was no year-long friendship preceding an inevitable romance. Not even close! What was there? Clarity. Absolute clarity.

Sometimes you just know.

And sometimes it feels like God is shoving you in a certain direction, and any amount of resistance is completely and totally pointless.

It’s like we have always been one soul. We drifted apart for a few decades. But the reunion was remarkable!

253

A fun story:

This past Yom Kippur I was walking along, just enjoying my own thoughts. I decided to check something on a whim.

In Hebrew, every letter of the alphabet is assigned a number. And there is a mystical practice known as gematria that attributes a great deal of significance to these numbers. My full Hebrew name is “Yitzchak Adam” and I did the math in my head: 253. OK, fine. A nice solid number there.

Then I tried out Devorah’s name (Devorah Leah) and stood there in confused awe when the number 253 popped up again.

I checked. And rechecked. And then rechecked some more.

I don’t know what it means. And it certainly wouldn’t have been enough on its own to propel our relationship forward. But it’s definitely fascinating. And it’s nice to feel like we’re being watched over and coaxed into something so great, so special.

Married in a Year

Another fun story:

Devorah and I were chatting on the phone, already engaged at this point. For whatever reason she had taken a peak at her Amazon Wish List. Something caught her eye, at first confusing her.

One of the books on her list was called ‘How to Get Married in a Year or Less‘.

The date seemed odd, since it was very recent but she did not remember placing the book on the list. Then she realized the date was from a previous year… and she placed the book on her wish list precisely one year before our first date.

In the words of my very intelligent, very intuitive son:

Can the world have made things any more clear? I mean, between the dress story, the name gematria, and the book story, isn’t it just so obvious you were meant to be together?

These are the words of a 15-year old!

Sometimes you have to look to the words of a child to see the truths of the world.

Confusion and Clarity

So there we were. In a relationship.

I was confused as anything, since I had made a giant 180 in my approach to life. But at the same time, something was just so abundantly clear. I started deleting any dating apps or profiles I had. And I started looking toward the future.

Devorah and I had many a hill to climb. But we put on our climbing shoes and started shoving our way past any of the obstacles in the road.

It was quite clear this was no ordinary relationship. And important steps were imminent.

My poor children have been through a lot. They watched their parents divorce. They went off to live in another country and were separate from their father for an entire year.

I knew how traumatic it could be to bring another person into their lives, and I wouldn’t even consider doing so unless the person had an exceptional character.

And there I was, without an ounce of hesitation. Devorah was the perfect person to have in my life, and someone I was ecstatic to introduce to my children.

And as predicted, they love her.

What’s not to love?

 

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my latest eBook!

Posted by jaffeworld in personal story, 1 comment